“Everyone wants to know. So here it is.” Mooie slogan van Melania Trump over haar door Donald Trump goedgekeurde documentaire Melania. Met een paar kleine aanvullingen is het verkooppraatje perfect en kunnen de woorden zo op de filmposter.
“Everyone wants to know. So here it is.” En dan suggereer ik:
“Absolutely nothing.”
“Presented by AI.”
“Narrated by a bored robot.”
“No emotions.”
“A truly terrible movie.”
“Something more boring than watching paint dry.”
“How I steal 104 minutes of your life. Ha. Ha. Ha.”
“On Prime Video. Now the ads don’t look so bad.”
“A performance Tommy Wiseau would disapprove.”
“A movie that needs Tommy Wiseau.”
“A reason to stick a rusty fork in your eye.”
“A reason to stick a rusty knife in your ears.”
“A representation of heaven. Now I cured your suïdicial tendencies.”
“A representation of hell. Now I cured your suïcidal tendencies.”
“Something worse than depression.”
“The reason there should be a Worst Documentary award.”
“The movie that broke critics.”
“The movie that broke the ratings.”
“Something to torture immigrants with.”
“Something worse than Guantanamo Bay.”
“The perfect weapon of mass destruction.”
“New national trauma.”
“The end of Brett Ratner’s career.”
“The trailer. That’s all you need to watch. Really.”
